City of joy

Fun is a very weird word today. Usually what’s fun for most people is pain for some. We Indians, by and large are very fun-loving people — whether it is festival, whether it’s choosing the right government, or whether it’s just stepping out with your family. Mumbaikars especially have a knack for having fun, which no other people in the world have — that is to create fun out of nothing at all.

Twenty years ago, what cinema was; ten years ago, what cricket was; today it is mobile phones. Just about every Mumbaikar has a mobile phone. Whether it is passing some SMSes, or weird MMSes or having the new Himesh Reshammiya ringtone, it’s all about having fun.

It is my sincere belief that Mumbai is easily one of the most stressed-out cities in the world. Everybody wants a piece of the action — whether it is people all over India, terrorist organisations, or Hollywood trying to set up Bollywood co-productions.

The average Mumbaikar is genuinely stressed-out, hence even if a day isn’t fun-filled, one tries to make it fun-filled. For example, writing this article may seem like fun, but it isn’t. With my name attached to it, most of you readers must have thought, let’s read this, it’s gonna be fun. By now you’ve realised it isn’t.

My take on fun

So what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna give my take on what’s fun and what isn’t. Watching movies in multiplexes is fun, watching pirated CDs, DVDs, no fun. Watching Bheja Fry is fun, Watching Jhoom Barabar Jhoom is actually your Bheja Fry — no fun. Reading jokes on the net is fun, watching down-market so-called stand-up comics trying to make you smile — no fun.

Going out with your girlfriend’s friend is fun, going out with your girlfriend is no fun. Bitching is fun, trying to be mister or miss nice, goody-goody — no fun. Going to Juhu beach is fun, trying to reach Juhu beach is no fun. Complaining about the BMC is fun, trying to get in touch with BMC is no fun.

Watching Sivaji with the audience is fun, watching Full and Final with the audience…hey stop, I’m sorry, where’s the audience…no fun. Putting on weight is fun, trying to lose weight — no fun. Having sex is fun, paying for sex is no fun.

Talking about Gone with the wind, Dr Zhivago, Lawrence of Arabia is fun, sitting through these movies — no fun. Entering a multiplex is fun, talking on the mobile while watching a movie — no fun.

Travelling without tickets in buses and trains is fun, getting caught by the TC is no fun. Copying during exams is fun, not getting a job, being basically uneducated, having no respect from society, being a loser (all this because you didn’t study but copied) — no fun. Watching ham scenes is fun, making ham scenes — no fun.

Watching India go to play a Cricket match is fun, watching India play the Cricket match — no fun. Being part of road festivities is fun, being in your car, during road festivities is no fun. Reading about Big B, SRK is fun, reading about Saas-Bahu TV stars — no fun. Planning kids fun, having kids — no fun. Talking to Chunky Pandey fun, watching Chunky Pandey films — no fun.

So my friends, these are my beliefs. I could’ve even said getting drunk is fun, but getting drunk and driving over others is no fun. Everybody knows that drugs are fun, but very few people realise that the consequences are no fun. So I’d like to personally believe that Mumbaikars are genuinely the most fun-loving people in the world, even if they are not having fun. Oh by the way, reading MiD DAY is fun, trying to understand MiD DAY is no fun.

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